Dear Ulcerative Colitis

March 5, 2015

Dear Ulcerative Colitis,

I just wanted to write to you to tell you to please go away. You are not welcome anymore. Because of you, I missed my writing last night. Because of you, I was not able to go and work out. Because of you, I was in bed by 8:00 P.M. and I was not able to spend some time with my husband on his night off. Because of you, I am currently in pain and I am super stressed now because I am afraid you are trying to stay for awhile. I’m sorry, but you simply can’t. You must go.  I have a lot of important things coming up and I can’t have you here. Saturday is my son’s birthday party during the day and my best friends 30th birthday party during the night. I simply has so much to do and can’t let you stay. So, I’m begging you to please go!!!! Please!!! Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this letter. I really hope you understand and have no hurt feelings. Have a great weekend!

Sincerely,

Kelli

Advertisements

I Need To Vent!!!!!

Please, somebody please tell me they have had nights when they looked back and reflected and thought they are doing something wrong as a mother! My son JP had a day. And when I say day, I should say day and night. He had melt down after melt down. Heck, he even broke his glasses! It was exhausting. I decided to go to my workout and get my stress out. I came back and JP and I worked on his goodie bags for his party this weekend. What do you know, he had melt down after melt down again! I thought to myself that maybe it’s something I am doing…. Then, I thought that whoever named it terrible 2’s was fibbing. Because so far, I am thinking it should have been called terrible 3’s… I’m praying there is some Magic sprinkle dust and when he turns four he will have no more melt downs. That would be nice, right? My baby boy is so caring and so kind, but then those darn melt downs come. Here’s to a good night sleep (finally!!!!) and to seeing that caring and kind boy in the morning that I know!!!,

Sleep

Do you ever look back and think about things that you may have taken for granted when you were younger? Well, tonight I am thinking about how I wish I would have appreciated sleep more! It’s so funny that as a kid you always want to fight taking a nap and going to sleep, yet as an adult we die for a nap throughout the day or to get to bed at a decent time. I think that my napping days are over, and I am extremely sad about that!  I also believe that my days sleeping in are over. But…. then I think and pray that when my children start to get a little older that they will enjoy sleeping more. I mean one could only wish right?? And the funny thing is that I am sitting here typing away when I could be getting some sleep. But, I guess that is why us parents don’t get sleep right? We have to do everything once our children are sleeping. And if anyone has a child like my son, you won’t get to sleep until extremely late. OK, so here it goes…. I’m ending my writing for the night, I’m closing up  shop on my laptop and I’m hitting the hay! Here’s to hopefully a full 6 hours of sleep! Good night!

My Happy Place

I have always loved being in shape and staying fit. I have loved working out since I was a young girl. I always joined a gym and worked out on my own. After I had my second child (Olivia), I was the heaviest I have ever been. I weighed 201 pounds when I delivered her. When I was given the all clear I joined a place where I did workouts with groups. I absolutely loved this! I not only was in shape and feeling like my old self again (Heck, I even felt better!), but I gained so many relationships that I continue to have to this day. I gained so much from that place. Unfortunately last summer the owner had told all of us that he was not going to be holding classes anymore. I never thought I would be so impacted by this news. I was so comfortable and loved this group so much that nothing I tried compared to it. I felt like I wasn’t giving it my all when I joined new places and made excuses to quit. To put it simple, I was sad and not myself.

About a month ago I decided I was going to change things. I was going to start working out again and change my lifestyle. I woke up one day and realized that I was not happy like I once was and I realized one day that my children could see I was not happy. Right then and there is when I chose to join The Barre Code. This was by far the best thing I have ever done. I go for 50 minutes as much as I can. Right when you walk in you can feel the positive vibes. There are powerful quotes all over and it is a very warm place. There are women of all sizes and ages. Everyone is welcoming and no one judges. I found my happy place!!! I dedicate 4% of my day to me and love every minute of it. I dedicate this piece to The Barre Code!

Silence!

I never thought I would be able to say it, but here if goes…. Silence is golden! I am an extremely talkative person. Most of the time people are trying to tell me to be quiet! I just love being around people and I love the noise. Well, I finally realized how my life has changed. I’m sitting here with my glass of wine and its silent, completely silent! I haven’t heard this is a very long time and I am actually loving it!!! And that my friends is why I am getting OLD! I am ok with it though and I hope to have more silent nights, not all of the time though because that young, chatty girl would like to come out sometime 🙂 I’m going to go and relax and enjoy this for a little longer before I hit the hay! Good night slicers!!!

POEM FOR MY LOST LOVE!

Olivia

I got into bed last night and opened up my WordPress application on my phone. I was ready to write (type) my slice and then next thing I know it was 2:00 A.M. I looked on my phone and I see…………xknjglerkneoribfnltkndelobkn. Was I trying to type something? I couldn’t tell you. I could tell you that I was so tired and I lack sleep so much lately that I fell asleep trying to write my slice :). So, today’s slice is in honor of last night and of me being sleep deprived.

 

I miss you so much you don’t even know.

I miss you so much where did you go?

You’ve been gone for quite some time and it’s getting really sad.

You don’t realize how much I need you, I need you really bad.

I hope one day you come back, even if its for a day or two.

I just want to remember what it feels like to be able to hang out with you.

Yes my dear, you are needed more than you’ll ever know.

So hurry up and get to packing and let’s get ready to go.

I understand my children are what keeping you away.

But, can’t I have you both in my life and have you please just stay?

Without you I’ve been cranky and my eyes have not been looking the same.

I’ll be quite honest with you, I really don’t like this game.

You won’t regret coming back, I promise it’ll be a blast.

I guess I’ll have to lay and see if tonight is the night that we are together again at last!

SLEEP

BY KELLI BRONKEMA

 

Did anyone get nervous when reading this poem thinking it was about someone in my life? Well………….. that someone is SLEEP 🙂 I wanted to put the title at the end to keep everyone in suspicion. I haven’t been getting sleep much because Olivia has severe allergies and the medicine is not working. On top of that, she is teething. She decides to wake up Mommy every hour or so. I’m actually getting used to it and some of you I am sure are in (or have been in) the same boat.  This is why I decided to write my poem today to SLEEP! Rich and I have a wedding out of town on Saturday and are staying in a hotel. As much as I hate to leave my children, I can’t wait to  get a good night of uninterrupted sleep! So, I will be getting my wish come true and like my poem says… I am glad I will see my sleep, even if it is a day or two! The funny thing is.. My daughter just smiles and smiles as miserable as she is with her allergies, and that smile is making this “no sleep” thing bearable.  Here is a picture of my baby girl. This smile is why I can’t get mad about getting no sleep… It’s simply so worth it 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

Better Late than Never!

ImageI signed up to do the writing challenge for the month of March. Well…. to be honest March came and I had thought that I didn’t have the time I thought I had to do the writing. I find myself extremely busy these days. Between being in my last course for graduate school, having two children that are constantly sick (one having severe asthma and the other severe allergies), working, trying to work on getting our new house organized, trying to be a good  wife and make time for my husband, trying to be happy with myself and find time to exercise, baptisms, birthdays , being sick myself, etc. I thought I just was too busy. I can keep going on and on, but I realized something. I realized that I was complaining how busy I am, but the fact is I am truly blessed to be so busy. Yeah, some of the things are not the greatest. My children being sick is one of them, but there are parents that are  taking care of their children who have cancer or other serious illnesses. I thank God my children do not have a serious illness like that. I find myself complaining about all of these things when in reality I should see how lucky I am! I am lucky to even have a husband and family, I am lucky to have a job and have the opportunity to go to grad school, I am lucky to be living in a new house, I am lucky that my Ulcerative Colitis is not bad at this time, I am lucky I am healthy enough to work out, I am lucky that I have a supportive family to watch my children so I can spend time with my husband,  and I am lucky I am able to give parties for baptisms and birthday parties so that I can fill the room with love. I realized all of this yesterday. It was my son JP’s 3rd birthday. Seeing him smile while mommy and daddy went to his school and seeing that smile continue when we threw him a pizza party with all of our family and having a dance off really made me just sit back and think. I thought about this writing challenge, along with other things that I thought I was too busy for. I feel that that if anything, this writing challenge is going to help me see everything in more of a positive and outgoing way, instead of complaining about how tired I always am and how there is not enough time in a day. It is going to help me reflect on how lucky I truly am. I forgot about all of the amazing times I felt so touched by some of my colleagues comments to some of my writing pieces and thoughts last year. I forgot how lucky I was to be working with such great people. I forgot that I need to breathe and remember that I AM LUCKY! I  can’t wait to share some of my life with you for the next few weeks. After all, I guess it is better late than never!

Men!

Tonight as a lay in bed still with a temp and sick as a dog after days of this sinus infection, I can’t help complain about men!! Not every man, but probably a good chunk of them! I have health issues as we all know, however I haven’t had a fever and infection like this in years!! I am just miserable and have luckily been getting help from both sides of the family. My husband has been helping, yet he always has to add in little comments like “babe it’s just a little sinus infection your fine!” Or “babe it’s not that bad!” Every time I want to smack him upside the head for a few reasons. One reason is he didn’t just have a treatment and doesn’t realize I have to monitor everything that much close. He also has never had a sinus infection. He has had sinuses, but never an infection. Now, what really makes me mad is he is the first one to be the biggest (and I mean BIGGEST) baby when he is sick. It makes me so mad he hardly gets sick, so to him he thinks its “nothing”. But, I promise next time he is sick I will post him whining like a baby to you all to see what I’m talking about!!! I feel like most men whine like babies and then have the nerve to comment when us women are sick and need to take a break from motherhood, working, etc. to better our health! I will say that last night he was a life saver and really stepped up and took care of the household when I slept all day/night, however those darn manly comments continue to stick with me! Ok, there is my complaining and weekly blog. Let’s hope for a more cheerful/healthy Kelli next week for a more cheerful/healthier blog 🙂

You are My Sunshine!

ImageToday I woke up like any other morning. Of course I didn’t want to wake up, but what’s new?! I got JP ready for Nana’s and was out the door by 5:20 A.M. When we got to Nana’s, JP only wanted Grandpa and started to cry. He insisted Grandpa take him downstairs and woke everyone up in the house. I thought, “Oh great, what a great day this is going to be!” Then everything changed as I went upstairs. I saw my Poo-Poo (Grandma) laying in bed awake. She had sadness in her eyes and laid there colorless and hairless. I made sure to put on a smile and tell her how beautiful it was going to be outside today and hopefully she could enjoy it by sitting on the deck and try to relax. Then, as I was on my way to work I prayed for it to be a sunny and bright day for my Poo Poo. About 5 minutes into my drive I saw the prettiest view of the sun and just had to capture it and print a copy. I decided to put it in a frame next to her bed for the days she needs some sunshine in her life and cannot get up. I also made a copy for my journal, to remind myself that I am fortunate to enjoy beautiful days like this! Today I learned not to sweat the small stuff, like my son waking everyone up at 6:20 because he is wanting to play. I am thankful that we are both healthy and get to enjoy days like today. Today, I am thankful!

My Dearest Patty Poo

You are such a strong person and that’s what scares me the most.
Seeing you so weak and as white as a ghost.
It really scares me and I try to keep it in.
But I’m afraid this time the cancer will win.
You aren’t yourself and you don’t get out of bed.
It’s because you are in so much pain, and this is what you said:
“I don’t know if I can do this, it’s too much on me for someone my age”.
I feel like your story is a book and you are on your last page.
But I won’t let you go without a fight.
Because I know theres a chance things will turn out alright.
I think there’s a chance because I know how you are.
Your positivity is what makes you shine like a star.
I pray all the time that you get through this fight
And pretty soon that everything will be alright.
And until that day comes ill stay by your side
And deep down inside my fears I will hide.
I want to be strong for you because you would do that for me.
And I have to remember being strong is the key.
So, I will be here with whatever you need.
Just remember that this is your story and you are taking the lead.
So please tell me whatever I can do,
To keep you around longer, my Dearest Patty Poo!