Today I woke up like any other morning. Of course I didn’t want to wake up, but what’s new?! I got JP ready for Nana’s and was out the door by 5:20 A.M. When we got to Nana’s, JP only wanted Grandpa and started to cry. He insisted Grandpa take him downstairs and woke everyone up in the house. I thought, “Oh great, what a great day this is going to be!” Then everything changed as I went upstairs. I saw my Poo-Poo (Grandma) laying in bed awake. She had sadness in her eyes and laid there colorless and hairless. I made sure to put on a smile and tell her how beautiful it was going to be outside today and hopefully she could enjoy it by sitting on the deck and try to relax. Then, as I was on my way to work I prayed for it to be a sunny and bright day for my Poo Poo. About 5 minutes into my drive I saw the prettiest view of the sun and just had to capture it and print a copy. I decided to put it in a frame next to her bed for the days she needs some sunshine in her life and cannot get up. I also made a copy for my journal, to remind myself that I am fortunate to enjoy beautiful days like this! Today I learned not to sweat the small stuff, like my son waking everyone up at 6:20 because he is wanting to play. I am thankful that we are both healthy and get to enjoy days like today. Today, I am thankful!
You are such a strong person and that’s what scares me the most.
Seeing you so weak and as white as a ghost.
It really scares me and I try to keep it in.
But I’m afraid this time the cancer will win.
You aren’t yourself and you don’t get out of bed.
It’s because you are in so much pain, and this is what you said:
“I don’t know if I can do this, it’s too much on me for someone my age”.
I feel like your story is a book and you are on your last page.
But I won’t let you go without a fight.
Because I know theres a chance things will turn out alright.
I think there’s a chance because I know how you are.
Your positivity is what makes you shine like a star.
I pray all the time that you get through this fight
And pretty soon that everything will be alright.
And until that day comes ill stay by your side
And deep down inside my fears I will hide.
I want to be strong for you because you would do that for me.
And I have to remember being strong is the key.
So, I will be here with whatever you need.
Just remember that this is your story and you are taking the lead.
So please tell me whatever I can do,
To keep you around longer, my Dearest Patty Poo!